Emotional Aftermath

Last night I had a lengthy and difficult conversation with an innocent young woman who feels betrayed, violated, buffeted and sacrilege because a man decided to steal something from her, something of sacred character. 


"It has taken me a long time to convince myself to tell someone my story. I am doing this because I believe I will help someone who has gone through things similar to me know that it is not their fault. I was raped by a stranger late at night after a girly night out. I have no recollection of the actual rape, but I woke up naked in a bed I did not know, with a frictional pain in between my legs. It has been a few months but huge chunks of the experience still linger and cloud my mind. Lately, I have been feeling very powerless, unable to motivate myself to do the necessary things in my life. I am set to begin a new job in a month but I am plagued by feelings of inadequacy. I don't know if this has any connection to the rape, but I don't ever remember being this anxious. I didn't report it out of guilt, shame, fear, and a reasonable supposition that I wouldn't be believed. Apart from the fear of not being believed, I was and am still scared that my boyfriend would have such a hard time accepting and relating to me, especially when I am just having one of those days. I know that he is the master of trying to solve difficult situations and looking on the bright side, but now that I have told him I am terrified that I might loose him."


Bianca is a survivor and her recovery, if you could call it that, is an ongoing struggle, there will never be a day that she does not wish that this had not happened to her, but it is in the past now and she cannot change it. She can only deal with the present and future days of her life, so from here on out, she vows to live her life and will not let that pervert ruin her life or happiness. Telling someone that you have been raped or sexually abused can be tremendously hard but it is really important that you tell someone so you can get some support. Pick someone that you trust and feel comfortable with, tell them in a place where you feel safe and in control. Only tell them as much as you want to and at your own pace. If the person you tell reacts badly, it's not you fault. Don't be discouraged, be proud that you've got the strength to tell someone and keep being strong.