A lot of men through negligence and selfishness have unknowingly destroyed our generation into a deep dysfunction. From the time they start to solicit girls young enough to be their daughters, granddaughters and even great granddaughters, instead of being mentors and role models all respect and morals are being lost. On a bus to West London, Olivia is telling me a story, she has asked me to come along with her for an appointment.
“My life was of pure innocence, I was young beautiful and confident. I kept great company and life couldn’t have been any better. As I was growing older and started meeting new people and making new friends with other girls who were just around my age; my life started to change. They seemed to have already experienced "life" more than I had, at the time I thought they were cool and compared to them my life seemed dull and behind on everything. They knew various alcoholic beverages, popular music, the latest parties, designer clothing, accessories, mobile phones and the latest gossip. Going out with my new friends I noticed that we were getting a lot of attention from older men, it started from the simple “You are beautiful” and “All I want to see is a smile on your face.” It then went to offers of getting my phone topped up by some random older men who I didn't care about; it quickly progressed to other gifts such as mobile phones, shopping sprees, to expensive weaves all in the effort of trying to get in my pants. I thought to myself "never". A female friend said “you should make him happy so that you can keep him, because if you don’t someone else will take him.” I thought about it and I didn’t want to lose out on the finer things, being naive I followed my friends advice and made this old guy “happy”, not knowing that I was letting him steal my innocence from me. During our sexual encounters all I could think of was “I hope it will be worth it” and our arrangement was very convenient for me because I was not confined to a full relationship, we only met when it was time for “business.” After a while I started believing that I was invincible, I could get my way with any man and believe me I had them eating out the palm of my hand. I had gotten used to the lifestyle when I realised that I was not the only one making these rich men “happy”, they were using me as much as I thought I was using them. I was so caught up in the hype of older men that I ended up going for even the broke ones with the hope that they didn’t have the same ego’s and disgusting behaviour as the rich older men but I was wrong. During our sexual encounters these men became more and more selfish, manipulative, persistent and sometimes even forceful, but I still tried to trick my mind into thinking it would be worth it. That lifestyle is extremely addictive and I had hit rock bottom before I realised that even the broke ones were also users just like the rich ones. This was the turning point for me, I had become empty inside and felt forsaken, I came to the realisation that my constant hunt for material possessions had evolved to a quest for love and affection and I was being led astray. My only way out and forward was to start loving myself enough to be able to find "self-love" and "appreciation" within my own heart. These older guys prey on us young girls for many reasons, but mainly because they see us as easy to manipulate, we are still fresh meat and we are easily enticed with material items.”
After talking with Olivia, I have come to the conclusion that young women go for older men because the "relationship" or should I rather say "arrangement" comes with benefits. Let’s be honest, the majority of humans look at dating in the same way they look at a P&L (Profit and Loss) sheet. What will I get out of it? Is it a good deal for me? Some call it the “Sugar Daddy Syndrome”, others call it the “Father was never around” complex, but a lot of people seem to have no problem with it, while many find it sick and perverted. Regardless of personal views, young women dating older men has become a worldwide phenomenon that is gaining popularity and acceptance at an astonishing rate. “Sugar Daddy Syndrome” has had a devastating effect on the spread of STI’s among young women in my age group, which is between the ages of 15 and 24. This phenomenon helps to explain why women in this age group are 4-5 times more likely than their male peers to be HIV-positive.
On a bus back to South London, Olivia tells me more about the effects that her experiences with these older men have had on her and how some of the memories still haunt her. If this is the first time you are hearing about this Sugar Daddy dilemma, I hope it is an eye opening experience for you as it was for me. Olivia made a strong subconscious confession of being easily influenced and is now paying a hefty price as a consequence for her choices.
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